'tis Football Season

Warning: Everything below is related to football most likely being more important than you could have ever possibly imagined.

 You've been warned!

I've never worn pads and I've never played a down of relevant tackle football; and yet I feel like I've been playing football my whole life.

I feel like I've experienced kickoffs, first downs, punts, turnovers, and even this hits.

Why do I say all of this? (Especially given that I don't know any inside terminology, coaching, or training that players do)

Because the mental picture of my life story takes me to the football gridiron. I see yard lines, endzones, first down markers, hard hits, play-calling, coaching, opposition and most noticeably perseverance.

I've never been in the trenches of a football game. I've never taken a hit. I've never had the ball come my way when it matters (or doesn't). But when I see it, and when watch those games; when I see men fighting in the trenches and picking each other up; when I see them holding onto the ball after a violent hit and chugging their feet forward; when I see a catch with everything on the line, I just cannot help but feel like I've done a similar thing in my life. And it brings me so much joy.


The narrative of football is incredible. Each team has it's own story that would take entirely too long to share, so I'll just stick with my 49ers, as they are the reason that I'm writing this post.

A lot of my appreciation of the football to life metaphor is based on my history of watching 49er football (The rest of my appreciation is based on my encounter with the gospel message and conversion to Christian living - but all of these factors are intertwined).

This is because the first 49er game I remember seeing was Superbowl XXIX on Jan 30, 1995. This game was two weeks after the 49ers finally beat the hated Dallas Cowboys 38-28 to earn a bid to the Superbowl. I was 6 years old and I remember being at my Aunt Katherine's house that day that Steve Young 'got the monkey off his back'. Another way to explain all of this is that the first game I ever saw of the 49ers was the best game I've ever seen them play....BY FAR!

Since then what have the 49ers done? Oh, let me tell you!

The '95, '96, and '97 seasons they lost to BRETT freaking FAVRE in the playoffs at Lambeau (I HATE YOU SO MUCH) Field. And in '98, TO finally caught the ball for The Catch II, but the 49ers went on the road to a less talented Atlanta team and lost as the shattering of Garrison Hearst's ankle was too much to bear. In week 3 of '99, Steve Young took a violent shot to the chin by Aeneas Williams and concussions ended his career- UNBELIEVABLE!!!

 In '00, the 49ers let go of my beloved Jerry Rice as TO caught 20 passes in Rice's last 49er game against the Chicago Bears. In 2001, the 49ers bounced back and went 12-4 and lost in the playoff at Lambeau (I HATE YOU SO MUCH) Field to BRETT freaking FAVRE... and in 2002 the 49ers limped into the playoffs against a hot Giants team that jumped up on the 49ers quickly before the best comeback ever led my Jeff Garcia, TO, and strangely Tai Streets. BUT, the next week the 49ers traveled to Tampa and got hammered by a far better team. After that, let's just kindly say that 2003 (thanks for nothing Dennis Erickson, you're the WORST!) through 2010 happened; and by that I mean 7+ offensive coordinators, 3 head coaches, no playoff appearance, no winning seasons, pretty much no good players, etc..

And now?

The 49ers somehow have coach Jim Harbaugh who has led them to a 16-4 record (including playoffs). AND the 49ers are widely seen as the best team and the NFL for the first time since Superbowl XXIX.  (Of course there was the heartbreak of the loss to the Giants last year and the golden opportunity to win the Superbowl against a likely overmatched New England team.)

So with all that, the nearly 300 49er games I've seen in my life, I can safely say that this narrative is incredible and it's so much like what life has in store for us; a search for purpose, seasons of raw emotion, seasons of grit, seasons of loss, seasons of immaturity, and seasons of improvement or success.


At the cosmic level, life is like football with the feel of a season (you fans know exactly when I'm talking about). At the microscopic level,  life is like football with the feel of the trenches and grit of the game. In any case, there's substantial beauty, purpose, and intrigue.

Everytime I watch a football game or movie, I look at the player who perseveres and I ask: can I be like that? can I do that? Will I do that if it came down to it? Will I metaphorically break the tackle, catch the ball, or simply hold on?

And I look back and I remember the heroes of the faith: Abraham, Paul, John the Baptist, the prophet Ezekiel (Read Ezekiel 37:1-14!), and so many more through the past 2000 years. They battled in the trenches, in the doubt; in the seasons of disgust, depression, and darkness on top of the seasons of ease, joy, and clarity. And with that, I consider Christ, who is metaphorically the best football player ever. And that's why I feel content with the game - with life- content with the good (which truly entails a lot), the bad (which truly entails a lot), and the 100% monotonous (which truly entails a lot! And yes, for those of you who know me quite well, this is really is a simple reflection on the daily grind of life that I'm currently in, as opposed to a reflection on any substantial events of my past.)

I mean, I feel like in the football-esque life Jesus is the lead blocker paving the way for a few extra yards, Jesus is the one throwing the ball to only where I can catch it, he's helping me tackle when I don't have the strength to wrap up, and he's picking me up when I'm laid out on the ground from a hard hit.

Man, I love football. And I love life seen (partially) through the lens of football. I love it all, because I love the God who brings purpose out of the ordinary. The God whose story intertwines with mine and makes beauty of the ordinary. I'm thankful that he has turned 18 year of watching football into something (at least slightly) more than an enormous media intake. :)

So, I'm going to keep watching football (at a relatively balanced rate) and I'm going to let the ordinary narrative continue to speak to and inspire me; and hopefully it says something just as good on the day the 49ers season might end as compared to the day the 49ers win their 6th Superbowl title. 

Strange K-12 Phenomena and Stranger Thoughts

 I have two theses (albeit underworked) that I have made about life as a youth vs. life as a young adult (or just adult):

1. The dream of what you're going to do when you grow up is a strangely limited dream once you grow up and do what you always wanted to do.

This one came do me in the past few days when I decided to ask my students, most of which are freshman and sophomores, what they want to do when they grow up.

It was not their answers that surprised me, it was mine.

I carefully thought about it, prior to class, and realized that I am what I dreamed of becoming as a child. I'm a math teacher. Now, I'm not the nuanced version of what I hoped to be when I was a college student - all of 15 months ago. But, I am what I dreamed for several years of K-12 schooling. Strange.

My point is that I had to sort of come up with another dream. And this is what I shared with my students. 

"When I grow up more, I would like to be a father." That is what I told them. And it was not much of a realization as it is a question raiser: What will I want to do "when I grow up" once I am a father? Strange. 

My most desirable question is: Where does the question, 'What do you want to do when you grow up', tend to go? Once your grown up, once your really grown up, and so on.... then what should you want to do when you grow up?

Either way, to me, it poses a strange, but likely inconsequential, dilemma when we ask youth what they want to be when they grow up. What are they supposed to do after that?
 
I'll touch on my answer to this later in this post.

2. The answer to the question of what will make your life 'better' or 'complete' may also pose a dilemma when you are grown up (if that answer is marriage, money, education, job title, freedom from the parents, etc...)

Here's an example from my life.

When I was in K-12 there were some pretty tough things going on in my life for a very long time (hence the K-12). family struggles, loneliness, disconnect. 

And I remember asking: what could possibly make all of this worth it? What could possibly make all of this better – less painful? At that time I came up with a type of hope – that one day I would get married to a girl who for whatever reason would bring no bearing of misfortune or hurt. This, of course, was illogical and unhelpful to the situation at hand, but it helped me carry on.

Because hope does that. Hope in a restoration, a newness, a better reality where things are as we always imagined they should be helps us carry on.

Well… I recently found out that I’m getting married – sometime soon. At this point in life, I fully expect that this wonderful woman who is clearly too good for me will sometimes receive misfortune and hurt from me – and vice versa. 

If I were a complete fool, I’d still need to realize that I require a better, fuller hope otherwise I’d quickly become hopeless, because marriage is not the answer to the 'completion' problem. Although I do believe it will be a wonderful taste of what is in store with our future hope.

So, here is another dilemma. You grow up with a question: what will make my life 'better' or 'complete'? And your often your answer is achieved... and then what do you do? It's like the 'dream' scenario... there is nothing left to live for and that can deeply coincide with the let-down in the realization that our 'dream' and what will 'complete' us is not fulfilling enough.



Well, here is my take on those mini-dilemmas, and it consists of the beauty of the Christian life.

Jesus gets us. He gets us because He knows that we're always working for something. We will realize a dream and then we'll need another. We will reach what we thought was 'completion' and then need something else for completion.

Jesus 'hires' us for eternal work...which at first sounds disastrous. But if you think about it, you're always working for something, and then when you reach it it's uninspiring (maybe not at first, but eventually). Fortunately, Jesus gives us a work that is purposeful, filling, completing and it does not succumb to either of the dilemmas I've listed above.

To dream to be a useful and called relationship builder with Jesus as the focus or to find a 'better' or 'complete' life in oneness with Jesus has not been topped. It's a process that takes a lifetime of work. It's not a 4 year degree right after a K-12 schooling. To me, that's pretty cool. To me, I could do that for 40, 60, or 80 years much more willingly than my once-upon-a-time dream of teaching or dream of being a father (most likely). 

And to me it will be the source of more completion than marriage. In fact, with this life time of work, it will add purpose and direction to my marriage. It will make marriage more whole and more complete. But it's all because of Jesus, not because of marriage. 

I like how the source is so much better than the gift.

I suppose that is my conclusion on these two dilemmas:  Our connection to the Source of 'dreams' and 'completion' is so much better than the gift (of a realized 'dream or a situation' that makes your life 'complete')

Why "Life With A Dragon"?

One of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, compares having a father to owning a dragon. “For me a father is nothing more than a character in a fairytale. I know fathers are not like dragons in that fathers actually exist, but I don’t remember feeling that a father existed for me…I don’t say this out of self-pity, because in a way I don’t miss having a father any more than I miss having a dragon. But in another way, I find myself wondering if I missed out on something important.”




The title of this blog "Life With A Dragon" describes the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a story of the painful failure of my fatherly figures that is currently being redeemed by the existence of God, the Father, who has delicately sewn my story to His. 

My recognition of Jesus as the Life Giver in the end of my high school years fundamentally changed every piece of how I lived my life. Here is what I consistently come away with when I let myself be fathered by this Father:

-Purpose
-Worth
-Humanness
-Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control
-A proper perspective of the reality of dating, work, rest, recreation, and family


To me, an earthly father will always be analogous to owning a dragon, but I don't own a dragon. I won't ever own a dragon. 

What I have is a life with a Father. It's not a formula that leads to the list above - it's a story. A story of redemptive hope in each broken facet of our lives that comes through Jesus' perfect life, sacrificial death, and the follow through of His promised resurrection. A reality where Jesus is always King.

This is the story that affects everything I'll write in this blog.




 Written while listening to "He knows my name":

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call